Bad Day at Black Rock is over

It was a bad day yesterday within me.  But I am crawling out of the pit of despair, thanks to the help of people who care when I am down in the dumps--and they are ready to fight in the process.  Sometimes, fighting helps divert the mind from the pain of knowing that we are losing my sister and that she will not get better.   I am so grateful that I can be here for my niece, Annie, who has and continues to bear the burden of making decisions for her mother, regardless of what some ill-informed people think.   I told Annie last night, when she was crushed by the words of a relative, that she has nothing to defend.  The list of people is so long who know the truth about the situation and they will have no hesitation in making their feelings known.  At least, we can  laugh about it. I wasn't laughing yesterday and Annie will never laugh about it.

Idiot relatives are a dime a dozen.  It runs in every family!

No calls Tuesday

I am up and it is 8:38 and I have had no calls!  Life is as good as it is going to get! Yesterday was frantic and people were calling and filling the house!  Thank goodness for friends who come in and try to help make a positive out of the negative vibes invading every mental moment!  Yesterday I had two highlight:  riding down to Charleston and seeing the fields and then coming home and sitting here laughing with Evelyn and Annie and not having to explain or defend; just laughing about a tape of Mama Cooper singing that would not work!

And today, I am going out to lunch with Nate from Athletics and who knows what else is before me!  Whatever it is, I will either cope or cuss!  Whatever feels best at the moment!

Extraneous Tasks

Please Lord, you promised that you would give us strength for the day.  I am counting on it.   Don't know what else to do but see what the next moments bring.   I went to Sikeston to get tapes of my sister singing and my niece to calm one sister and then I went to hospital to see another sister.   We are all pulling together to get by.  But we need the faith of Mama and Daddy to give us strength.  Keep our hands on the plow, even if we are doing extraneous tasks!

The Secret is out!

My sister, Julia, is in the hospital up here and I go out every day to visit!  It was a precautionary visit but she came because of the problems she was having with her medicine and will probably go home tomorrow!   Annie and Holly went out with me yesterday and it gave Julia time to visit with Annie about her mother!  These times are not easy for anyone but we laugh together and it helps!

A world of secrecy

I am living in a world of secrecy this weekend!  Visiting a person in hospital who doesn't want it to leak out and taking calls from someone else   who doesn't want it to become public and rightly so!   So I want to secretly say that I would say something but my lips are sealed!  And that is a good thing!

Historically Correct

Last night I went to Sikeston for a history meeting and heard Dr Frank Nickell talk about our new "digs" on campus and the role of preservation!   People are concerned about how life is changing and so are values and norms.   I was happy to hear the discussion and learn what I can do!  Thanks to Gary Kremer, Frank and Ned Matthews for a strong program!

Catching a glimpse

Yesterday I went to Mo Delta hospital in Sikeston to meet Harryette Campbell and show her "Mama Cooper's Wall"!  She is a part of our family and she has read every word about the project in the paper!  As we walked thru the Pediatric section, she exclaimed over the changes!  It is wonderful when you realize that change is so simple to do...and so necessary!  We walked out together talking about giving each child a stuffed animal to love in the hospital and then take home!

There are so many glimpses out there for the grabbing!

Repairing the Mortar

Connections are not easy to maintain--not in university loyalties, friendships, families and neighborhoods.  It takes overlooking stuff and getting over stuff and putting stuff back together when things are in a shambles.  It might not even be worth the effort.  So why waste your time and energy by even trying?

I was reminded of this yesterday when someone said to me:  "No one can fix things because there was never enough mortar in the relationships to hold us together.  We thought there was but we were fooling ourselves. Pollyannas!"

Check out the mortar in your relationship bricks!  Is it worth repairing, adding more sand and lime and mending the damage?  Isn't it ironic that mortar is also a weapon?

Change is inevitable....

When you have too many worries to deal with, and they are soaring in your brain, just rely on a thought that helps you and find a quote.  I'm doing that today.  Jennie is having a bad day,  Mike Finnegan is having a bad day.   Pasta House is closing for good.  My back hurts since I slipped on an area rug.   I don't know how to help Annie get through this morning and on and on.   Change happens.  Everywhere.  I can deal with it or I can close my door, turn off the media and sit and stare out the window where I will still see change happening when my flowers bloom and wilt.

So here is something I read yesterday from Diana Butler Bass:

The whole message of the Christian scripture is based on the idea of metanoia, the change of heart that happens when we meet God face-to-face.  Even a cursory knowledge of history reveals that Christianity is a religion about change.  The Christian faith always changes--even when some of its adherents claim it does not."

Lord, find a way for me to travel on this road today...

Birthday party for Annie

Holly Finnegan and I spent much of Sunday getting ready for Annie's birthday which took place at O Charlie's last night complete with balloons, gifts and Margaritas!  It was our way of saying thanks to her for taking care of Jennie and Mike Finnegan during these long hospice days!  And they are long days filled with decisions which have to be made by someone!

So we laughed and remembered better times and opened gifts and felt a sense that we would all get thru it!  And we will!

Happy birthday, Annie!

Pondering the priorities

Today is Sunday and it is Annie Finnegan's birthday!  She has not had the best of times lately with having two people in hospice.   It is all a matter of setting priorities and sticking with it!  and that is not easy.

I have pondered the words of Brad Aycock this week.  He said:   "Jesus lived his life seeking opportunities to turn his love for others into action.  That takes noticing who is on the bottom of everyone's list and putting them at the top of yours!"

Press on Mama Cooper's Wall

Thanks to the children who participated in this project!

Saying a long goodbye..

When you work with international students, there comes a time when they go home.  It is Commencement weekend and their families come and whisk them away!  And you are stuck with memories and legacies which soon are replaced with other people's needs and fears!  Such is the season!

Such is Bao from Viet Nam.  He came to the meal every Sunday Night and by tradition, ate first.   His legacy:  his bicycle, his bed and his bedding.   Someone will come to inherit these things and he will think about SEMO and wonder who is riding his bike and sleeping in his bed!  To everything there is a season!

Good luck to Bao.  May he be first in all things!

Taking another step...

The last voice I heard on the telephone last  night said to me, "I dont think I can take anything else!"  She was pouring out her soul in truth.  Things were flying too fast and furious for her to deal with it and she had been at it too long.  So I let her talk.  I did not give her all the usual adages nor did I commiserate with her.

There is a time to listen and say nothing.  That time, for her, was now!  It is called "Being There".

Words from Rose Marie

"I got an email from my sister, Rose Marie Jordan, yesterday and she quoted a friend of hers:  There are two circles in our lives:  one is a large one, the circle of concern; the second is smaller, the circle of influence."  And she went on:  If you have no influence, you should realize that;  your only part is to pray for that person, because you have no influence."

I agree with her assessment.  But, my problem is, I do have an influence--I have to--legally I have an influence because some one involved, in her sane times, gave me all of the influence and registered my concern for her welfare.  Others have sought to disconnect me and I am wobbling on a seesaw of legal and moral responsibilities.   God help us all but mostly, help my sister!  The rest of us are on our own!

Bailey graduates

Graduation is meant as a time to cross over--into a land of opportunity or a new world.  The diploma is your entrance ticket!  It allows you to enter that world and take your rightful place!

I am proud of my granddaughter, Bailey Dyer Cheben, for sticking with it!  She will be a great teacher because people matter to her as individuals!   And she takes no guff!  She has two brothers!

My yellow rose bloomed overnight!

I went out this morning to take the trash to the curb when I spied it and it was not 

one lonely bloom but a plethora of color!  Yellow roses galore!  I enjoyed it and have gone back outside with my coffee and crossword to continue to enjoy!  Beauty doesn't demand a moral but I see one in its beauty!

God gives me my own particular gift every day--not one he had left over from his last rummage or fire sale but one he chose out if his store window of blessings that was uniquely mine!  Today it was the yellow rose which bloomed profusely!  Everything in its season, Jane!

Mother's Day 2014

It has been, already, a wonderful weekend filled with activity!  Heather Mitten came yesterday and helped me get ready in the house, Karel came and put out flowers in the yard, many calls, Mike Yeakey and Annie took me to eat at I Charlie's and then we finished the night off at Hollys concert where we had a wonderful performance!  The truth is, I want for nothing!

I have wonderful children and the best in-laws known to man!  I'm serious!  I have kind and sweet and talented grands and friends/family who are there for me!  Bev Hickam took me out to eat on Friday night and she is a steady joy to me!

I am one lucky broad!  Wonder what this day will bring!

Mother's Day....everyday!

My mother, Janie May Lawrence Cooper, was unique!   She didn't fall into a pattern --she was forty when i was born and had seven other children.   She had nothing to prove or disprove--but she took up the task.  What I remember, foremost, was that she stood up well when she was on comfortable ground....and we sought to provide that comfortable ground for her.   Her children loved her and we would not even allow the other children to voice any criticism of her!  Loyalty was inbred and it served all of us well.

She never complained about her lot in life.  She just lived it --making pies, running the wringer washer in the basement,  getting us up when tornadoes threatened and hovering over us, laughing with our friends, singing in the kitchen and watering her beloved flower gardens.   She was a rose--unique, not patterned, devoted to her Christ and the best pie baker in the town.  Thanks for allowing me to be uniquely me in a big world of children.

Two big deals in one weekend!

Can you believe that yesterday Landon had his pinning ceremony and he is now Captain!  His birthday is also this coming week!   And today Bailey graduates with her Masters from the university!  Proud of them both and awaiting pics from the graduation! Then I will send both!

NFL draft

Can't believe I am watching the draft on television but Kony Ealy, a New Madrid boy who played for Mizzou, is high in the mix and I like what I read and hear about him!  I don't care where Johnny Manziel 

goes!  He is not from SE mo!  Just heard that Kony was listed as 4th choice!

Mizzou has had 6 players drafted in first round of NFL and Kony wants to be seven!

Feeling a part of things!

Last night I went to Malden for the Athletic Department reception at the Country Club!  I griped to myself about why I committed to the six hours it would take to get there and back and etc!  But I like still being a part of hanging out with the coaches, the jocks and the alums who came out!  Some who came out were on Bill Stacy's football team there!

So I came home tired but I felt alive and I remembered the past and glimpsed the present!  My driver said, "People were so glad to see you!" And I rejoiced and reciprocated that sentiment!

Two on hospice

 I can't believe that Annie is dealing with two on hospice;  mother and her ex- husband .  But she is and they are both at the same point'. She comes at times to share the worry and pain!  Both continue to get worse and there is not 

Much light in the tunnel!   But I can listen and I do !I

!Not sitting on my butt, complaining

Today I am swamped with appointments, lunches, a reception in Malden and phone calls.  Tomorrow is the same with lunches and dentist appt.  I am not complaining.  Everyone talks in town about how I should slow down.  I will have to slow down soon enough.  But as long as i feel good, I am going!   So, don't have time to write--wish me safe travel!

Remembering the simple things..

Sunday night my niece, Annie, called and said that her mother wanted something old-fashioned good to eat!  I told her to go to Bob Evans and get chicken and dressing and ask them if they had cooked carrots because that was her favorite!  Which made me get up on Monday, go to store, and fix her a lunch to die for;  beets, carrots, fresh green beans , au gratin potatoes, dressing and a huge bowl of fruit salad!

Delivery was greeted, to the intended, exuberantly!  I remembered well!   Simple things!

A. B. Cooper Memorial Meals

Last night we ended the semester with  Chinese Hot Pot at the Baptist Student Center!  Then we announced that Jun Li had received Daddy's scholarship!  All of the volunteers were there and we have formed a bond washing dishes and serving food!

Daddy took things where they were, made adjustments and moved ahead...and he did not look back!  He would be thrilled with his work he started so many years ago!

It is the big day!

May 4!  Mark Allen Stacy's birthday!  We lived upstairs at 110 n Park in Cape!  Downstairs lived two other football players:  Ken Weakley and Norm Iman and they had babies too!

So have a happy!  And, enjoy!

And then a sibling came along..

Nothing tears up an only child's playhouse and platform like an invader from another world!  Just as Mark was confident in the running of his world...Sara Jane invaded!

And he learned to cope!  Thank you Sara for being there!

A good journey!

I read a quote this morning from Richard Rohr which spoke to me:  "A good journey begins with knowing where we are and being willing to go somewhere else!"   I have pondered the idea of a journey in light of the fact that my older son will be 55 on Sunday!

This child has been a major part of my journey and I hope that I have played my miles with him in a way that he forgives my parental mistakes and dwells on the the positives.  It has been a great experience. And I am so thankful that I had this maternal and maturing experience!  

Mark has big weekend ahead!

My son, Mark, has big weekend ahead of him!  He is interviewing today at big university for dean of med school and his birthday is May 4!  He was born in 1959. We were so poor that Daddy paid the bill so we could get out of the hospital!

But did we get a bargain in the process!  He makes me proud every day!