Reframing your life!

Recently I went out to eat with a friend of mine who has been going through a terrible time with his siblings after the death of a parent and alienations which run deep.   I laughed and told him that he was not in the minority of people I know because these decisions cause rifts.

I told him about a book which had helped me by Charles Klein.  He gave an example that said that no two people in a family see things exactly the same.   One saw his father's life as a man of good intentions, who just never got around to putting things in priority the way the sons wanted it to be prioritized.  The truth is, for me, that each of us can choose what to remember.   Maybe the secret of reconciliation is knowing what to include in the picture and what to cut out.   I learned that this selection belonged only to me.

  Klein says, "From my discussions with people who have been able to forgive,  it is apparent that one of the important steps on the way to reconciliation is a process therapists call reframing.

I want to remember what I want to remember as I frame the picture.   To remember the bad (which happens to all of us) is to limit the picture of the joys that I have had in living my 75 years.