Families, you can't live with them but sometimes, you must live without them. Families take the heart out of us, like no other people can. And the feuds and fusses of families, including extended families, carry over to generations. Some of the family throw up their hands and say they are through with all of the others. That choice is theirs to make. Some of the people keep trying to play peacemaker and the strain of it all eats at their gut and takes joy out of their lives. Some of the people try to resolve the conflict and rejoice in the small steps of success.
The truth is that each person who cares enough about the conflict to get involved faces a world of hurt going in. It takes courage to love someone enough to intervene in a family conflict for you run the risk of losing! Sometimes the ones in conflict turn on you and strip you of your good intentions!
Sometimes the one who tries to help becomes the villain to all of those in conflict!
Yesterday afternoon I visited with a family in conflict. I know something about this role (maybe from my own massive failures!) and my antenna of listening went up. I made the statement to them, "I had to remember that no family is static; and no family member is static." Life is not like we remember it in the good old days; it wasn't like that then, even, and we can't skip over the years of remembering life like it wasn't! The truth is that we all have a choice in whether we want to be family or whether we want to stop the drama and jump off the whirling tornado of anger and resentment!
Each of us have the right and the privilege of living in our own world and seeking to find our own unique happiness. I claim that privilege and welcome those who seek the same laughter and joy!
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