The Presence of Boundaries comes early.

This book on "Boundaries" is fascinating.   It hits one in the face.   It says that defining boundaries often starts in childhood.  Parents and children read the Scripture in Proverbs 22:6 where it says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it."   Neither the child nor the parent realizes that times will change and that there are many things that should not be set in stone.   This is monumental to me because I battled more, as I tried to set boundaries, with the memory of my parents and how they would want their children to be life-committed to each other.  I have said often, "My parents deserved better than this!"   I had to realize that what my parents would want more than anything is for me to find my own independent happiness.   Their presence still is instilled in me;  I just needed to figure out that their judgment would have been based on the facts as they are now.  

And then it hit me.   I will never cease to love my family.   This boundary-setting has nothing to do with whether I love them or not.  That is not in question nor has it ever been.   This setting of boundaries has to do with whether I love myself enough to demand limits.   No one ever made me do this or that to help out.  I made all of those decisions for myself.   And when things did not turn out as I expected, I pulled out of the fray.  That, too, was my decision.   Now, it is way past time for me to move on without a hint of second-guessing or regretting any decision.   I need to grow up and settle in with the boundaries.  

This setting of boundaries affects others.  It causes anxiety and discomfort.   It affects decisions and relationships.   But it is necessary in order to establish what those boundaries are.   I am moving on and I need to do this for my own sanity and growth.   No one is guaranteed safe passage in this living experience but life is worth the living!